8 Types of Foreigners in Beijing

We all think we are unique, but more or less we fall into stereotypes. Which type of expats are you?

No.1 The Gulou Hipsters

They live in hutongs or those six-floor buildings. They like Baijiu, Peking duck and dumplings. They stay in Beijing because of all the antique and crappy part of the city, which they claim to be giving them the feel of living inside an orient fantasy. They wouldn’t stop talking about funny conversations they had with taxi drivers in Chinese, but actually they are just showing off.




 No.2 The Wudaokou Students

The loyal customers of La Bamba, Propaganda, and the Xinjiang Restaurant at Minzu University. You can tell by their baseball jackets, sneakers, backpacks and the untarnished face with an innocent smile. Learning language? No, they are only here to fuck Chinese chicks. (Oops, except for the gays, and the Koreans)




No.3 The English Teachers

When foreigners say they are English teachers, actually they are telling only one thing about themselves: a don’t-know-what-to-do-with-his-life loser. No offense, it’s okay to take it temporarily or as a part-time, but in the long run, dude you need to pull yourself together. Whenever you encounter them hanging out at KOKOMO with the perky face, slap them.




No.4 The iBankers

Expensive suits, first class planes, five star hotels, the iBankers are exactly the opposite of the Gulou hipsters. They hang out at places like D Lounge (D for douchebag), and make people who are not as rich as them fall in love with hip-hop and rap. They don’t even enjoy Beijing, since as long as they are making a shit load of money, they don’t give a fuck.




No.5 The Yuppies

The yuppies are those who would die for becoming an iBanker type, so they behave like them in every way, but cheaper, and less annoying. They consider Beijing as a wonderland full of business opportunities, but they would not spend one second improving their Chinese, because English still rules the business.




No.6 The Wore Out Junkies

Different from addicts of Chinese food, the junkies don’t care what they eat as long as it is edible (sometimes even not, depend on what they are on). Eyes wide shut, they wander around like vampires at night, and if you spot one of them lost on the street, send them back to DADA.




No.7 The Righteous Fighters

China has no democracy! Air pollution kills! Donate for the kids! The righteous fighters are those yelling at the camera, tweeting extreme opinions, and brain washing everyone who approaches them. Among them, you’ll feel that China still has a long way to go in terms of dictatorship.




No.8 The Glamorous Asians

They are the evil sisters of Cinderella. They look like Chinese, but with full body enhancement. Perfectly trained muscles and flawless makeup are their name cards. With the bilingual capability they rock all kinds of parties in the city. No, never felt related to their motherland, they come here only to conquer.



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