How to Pick up Girls Scientifically

As the weather getting cold, you will probably need someone to cuddle with at night and comfort your broken heart. Don’t worry buddy, Shameless is offering you the best pick-up strategies of the year. Now let’s get started.

1. Be Confident

Research says that girls are attracted to guys who are confident and know how to present themselves, so make sure you put your best foot forward, even if the cost is being overly dramatic. Act like a real man and try this example from Shameless:
“Did it hurt?”
“What?”
“When you caught me falling from heaven?”

 

2. Lower Her Self-esteem

Girls love douchebags because they lower their self-esteem, and make them stick around. Complimenting your dream girl will only make you a back-up, but hurting her feelings could lead you to the third base. Here’s the recommendation from Shamless, for those who are brave:
“Are you a piece of trash? Because I want to take you out so badly.”

 

3. Act Unexpectedly

“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.” Come on, are you still living in the 90s? Girls like to be surprised, so be creative and do something unexpected. Shameless suggests you customize your own pick-up lines and here’s my personal favorite of this classic:
“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put MY DICK in YOUR MOUTH.”

 

4. Smart is the New Sexy

If you think those three I mentioned before are too low-brow, you are gonna love this one. It’s a combination of smart, humorous, and sexy, and works the best with your normcore outfit.
“Did you hear of the latest NASA news?”
“What is it?”
“They said there will only be 7 planets after I destroy URANAS.”

 

5. Look for the Soul Mate

Let’s be real, this whole article is just a joke, because we are all looking for soul mates. You know when you meet the right person, it doesn’t matter what pick-up line you use – things will just work out naturally. Just like how me and my significant other met:
“I’m gonna tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long.”
“I’m gonna tell you a joke about my vagina, but you’ll never get it.”

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