How To Take A Perfect Dick Pic

Picking up girls is tough – you need a handsome face, a supermodel body, and a great personality. However, you could lose your chance in a flash – with a horrible dick pic. Getting cock-blocked by your own cock is miserable, but don’t stress, as Shameless is offering you a handy tutorial today to help you take a perfect dick pic.

1. Make Up Matters

Guys love girls who are naturally beautiful, but it takes hours for those bitches to look “natural”. Dick pics work the same way. First, you need to moisturize your whole dick to make sure there’s no peeling skin. Pick a foundation that matches your skin tone and gently blend it all out. Then comes the critical part – add a little bit of blush to the top creating an adorable pink that every girl would be crazy about. Finally, don’t forget to pad some powder and seal everything in so that your dick is ready for a 10-hour photo shoot.

2. Hair Care

Remember all the shampoo advertisements where a guy falls in love with a girl when she flips her glamorous hair? That’s the feeling you need to create with your pubic hair. Whenever you’re taking a shower, use some hair mask to cover your junk. Sit in the heat for 15 minutes, enjoy the rosy smell, and keep reminding yourself that you’re a strong and independent male. After, use a hair curler to create a fashionable style – you may burn your dick with the hot curler, but #beautyhurts.

3. Master The 45°

Girls never post the photo they take on the first try – it takes 172 snaps to make a “casual Sunday morning” selfie. You have to understand the advantages and disadvantages of your dick to find the perfect angle where the light and shade work perfectly together to say, “suck me.” Don’t be shy, experiment a bit and ask for help or use a selfie stick if needed. A top down pic makes it look short. A bottom up pic is too distorted. A 45° angle is just right, like your dick is looking out of the window, thinking about something really deep (Suck me).

4. Filter But #NoFilter

Using a penis extension is cheating, but using filters and photoshop is just making use of technology. Pick a filter and style that matches your dick’s personality. Lower the saturation and increase the fade to make a vintage look, or cool the tone and sharpen the contrast to create a high fashion vibe. Girls not only want a dick that is big, but also want it to be fun and sophisticated. Try to add a caption in a artsy font:”Traffic is so bad, you wanna a ride?”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s