I know we’re all bummed to be back to work after such a short VJ break, but hey, look on the bright side – only a week until National Day! You may have already started planning your next vacation, but here at Shameless we want to make sure you put some real thought into your travel destination because – as always – your choice will totally be judged.
If you are thinking about one of China’s “big two,” be prepared for some quality time with with a mixture of elderly Chinese getting ripped off by travel groups (easily identifiable by their hideous red or yellow hats), and naive foreigner teenagers (easily identifiable by their being shit-faced on fake alcohol).
Favorite destinations for hardcore expats who’ve been in China too long, or Chinese yuppies trying to show off their hippie side. If you are the former, get ready to spend your whole trip followed around by gawking locals who will treat you like a zoo animal. If you are the latter, don’t even try posting selfies with all of your hardcore camping equipment – we know all that gear never even left the confines of your fancy car.
Traveling in Japan can be expensive, but please DO NOT make up the cost by bringing back cosmetic products to sell on Wechat. Repeat. DO NOT bother selling cosmetic products on Wechat, we don’t care about that shit. If you really want to leverage your trip, bring us back some high quality porn.
The shortcut to getting that promotion, or bagging a hot boy/girlfriend? You’ve found the right country to get your plastic surgery done. Have fun spotting all the shooting scenes of your favorite K-drama, and don’t get heart broken when all the Korean guys you see are nothing like the Oppas on TV.
Food. Beach. Massage. Repeat. The country is a paradise for low budget travelers all over the world. We all know that yoga selfie you posted on Facebook, captioned “finding my inner peace,” is just fodder for your Tinder profile. “Enjoy your vacation!” I commented and of course, sent from my iPhone7 @ Hawaii.
If you’re gonna fly halfway around the planet for a picture with the tower, don’t screw it up by trying to be innovative. No, don’t even try a photo with you in a yoga position, an upward selfie, or standing far away so you look like you’re holding it in your hand. We’ve seen all that shit and it wasn’t clever the first time. Same goes for photos of you standing in front of luxury stores – don’t go if you’re not gonna really buy something. At least pretend you have some culture and go to a fucking museum.
I know there are still a lot to talk about, but let’s save it for next time, otherwise you will be reading it for too long that your boss will notice. Let me know your travel plans, and I am more than happy to provide some shameless advices.