Halloween is coming – it’s the only time of the year you can wear your underwear on the street without judgement. What’s your costume this year? Shameless is ready to judge. Let’s introduce 5 Halloween costume stereotypes!
No Halloween is complete without someone dressing as a sexy something. Basic bitches all over the world have been waiting for this day to put on their cat ears and black lace lingerie. It doesn’t matter what you’re dressed as – the only message your outfit is sending is that you’re down to fuck, and the way you are sending the signal is not subtle. You will be totally disappointed if no guys approach you, but if they do, you will turn around and be like:”Eww, dressing as a sexy _____ doesn’t mean I am a slut!” Really??!!
Somehow being a nerd is kinda cool these days, but some of you “nerds” are dumbasses. A Darth Vadar mask can’t cover your empty brain, and a Big Bang Theory T-shirt doesn’t make up for being too lazy to pick a real outfit. Blame it on your costume if you don’t get laid tonight, but we all know that it is and it has always been your stupidity that stands in the way. Also, do some background research before you tap into the nerd world – please list five terms in theoretical physics and provide a solid reason why Han shot first.
Oversized Cartoon Character
Ever seen an oversized cartoon character at a Halloween party? To be more specific, a SpongeBob, a Minion, or a Banana? You know what I’m talking about. The common thing about the three costumes (besides being yellow) is that they are super popular with the ladies. All the Sexy Something will line up to take a selfie with you, but in the end, nobody cares about the person inside. Think you are cool surrounded by girls? No. You are just a prop being used and you’ll get thrown away like all the rest. Yes, go home and cry.
Niche Art Reference
“Excuse me, but who are you?” “Oh you don’t recognize this? You must know so very little about French Impressionist. As any fool can see I am dressed as The Woman in the Green Dress by Claude Monet.” Now replay the conversation in a British/French accent, and think twice about how annoying it really is. If you encounter the Niche Art Reference, try this out “Well then guess who I am” “Sorry who?” “The greatest artist in the 22nd century but there’s no way you could know because you will be SO dead by then.”
Vampires & Zombies
Here’s where Halloween tragedy strikes. Here’s three advices you need to bear in mind. First, painting your face white doesn’t make you look like you’re in Twilight. Second, watching a YouTube tutorial doesn’t make you a special effects makeup artist. Third, when some cuties invite you to a zombie Halloween party, don’t take the theme too seriously – you don’t want to be the only hardcore one in the room while all your friends are actually dressing as slutty zombies.