QiuKu-Shaming: A Serious Life Dilemma

Every morning I ask myself – should I wear QiuKu today? I look for signs from God, beg my friends for advice, and whisper to my cat, but still, no answer.  If I wear QiuKu I’m a man with no taste, too old to have fun, and everyone says I’ll never get laid. If I don’t wear QiuKu I’m accused of only caring about my appearance (and still, probably won’t get laid). What a dilemma.

 

QiuKu, or no Qiuku? Today Shameless cracks the case – let’s examine the QiuKu facts.

1. Does Qiuku protect your knees?

If you ask any Chinese past the age of 35 for their opinion on QiuKu, you’ll always hear “QiuKu protects your knees from the coldness.” According to ancient Chinese Medicine, the winter coldness gets stuck in your knees. But don’t worry my QiuKu-less friend, to prevent you from the pain, Shameless is offering a great prescription based on Chinese Medicinal theory too: get one pair of red QiuKu, burn it and boil the ashes, then drink it with 10 lychees. It’s as effective as wearing 5 pairs of QiuKu, trust me. But don’t drink too much, otherwise you will get “ShangHuo”.

 

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2. Can QiuKu be fashionalble?

There are many fashion blogs out there today that teach people how to look better than they really are, but none of them have discussed how to style a pair of QiuKu – very disappointing. QuiKu is an irreplaceable fashion piece. A pair of skinny black QiuKu is classic, and you can wear them to work, a nice dinner, or to a cocktail party. A pair of stripe pattern QiuKu is sassy, and you can wear it to a cafe, for a girls’ night out, and to a Tinder or TanTan date. However, if you really want to impress, a pair of neon pink QiuKu is absolutely a rock star – pair it with a nice diamond bow tie, and all the girls at the club will go crazy.

 

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3. Is QiuKu really a cockblocker?

Depends on your gender. If you are a guy, when you’re getting ready for a date you have to evaluate your chances of getting laid and make the call. Consider these factors: how cold is it, how many dates have you been on, how slutty are they, and how desperate are you? If you’re a girl, Shameless suggest that you adjust the QiuKu formula for more accurate results: how much is this dude into yoga pants, and how well can you fake that you are flexible? Enjoy your creepy night.

 

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Ultimately the decision to wear QuiKu or not is very personal, and to be honest, whether you could get laid mostly depends on how good looking you are, not what QiuKu you are wearing – we all know you are just trying to find something to blame on.

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