You may like them, you may hate them; you may dream to join one, you may just roll your eyes. No matter what you think, they’re there, and are impacting our college social lives. Today let’s talk about the most controversial organizations in college – Chinese Student Union, and the American Fraternity!
1. They are visually identifiable.
If you ever see a guy in a sleeveless shirt and flip-flops, wandering around campus with the smell of beer and hair gel, good job you just spotted an American frat boy. Recommended actions when encountering one include calling him “bro”, chest bumping him and telling him how amazing last night’s party was, even if you weren’t invited. However if you spot a nerdy guy in an ill-fitting suit, putting on a overly passionate smile while clearly doing something silly, be prepared for a Chinese Student Union member. Appropriate responses could be asking his opinions on current affairs, but if he says he only has “two points to address”, be prepared for a 30-minute speech.
2. Corruption is norm.
“Thank you very much for paying this insanely expensive membership fee. In exchange, we will provide you a messy bedroom, cold pizza, cheap T-shirts, a lot of alcohol, and a lot of alcohol! I will certainly take some of the money, but I love you bro!” That’s how frat houses make money – not creative at all. Chinese Student Unions have apparently done a better job opening up the funnel – screaming for school funds, chasing company sponsorships, using members as free labor, renting school facilities, buying fake FaPiaos… long live the brave and hardworking Chinese SUs!
3. Bullying new kids is a tradition!
Sorry for the wording “bullying”, because in the eyes of senior frat dudes it’s called “hazing”, and for the Student Union 部长们, it’s called cultivating the “team spirit” and get them “prepared for challenges in future”. That’s so right, because nothing can help them more in society than the horrible pranks in the frat house or blowing 500 balloons for an SU party. “You deserve this and it is for your own good!” said every perpetrator in history ever before they end up in jail getting butt fucked.
4. But who gets more girls?
This is a hard one. Frat dudes are cool – they have the best parties in campus and they know how to have fun. Student Union presidents, however, have a lot of power – girls who just get into college need help from them and look up to them. Frat guys make good girls go bad, and SU guys make bad girls go good. However, my fellow, if you want to know which organization allow you to get laid the most, it really depends on how good looking you are. Surprise!