You have a long day at work but now you’re finally home. You put on your pajamas, open a bottle of beer, and light up your cigarette – you are ready to chill. However, everything changes once you turn on the TV, because you’re about to watch some shit. Let’s get into it: 5 types of Chinese TV dramas!
#1 Bitch in a Palace
A long time ago in a stupid dynasty not that far away, a young and naive girl was married to the Emperor as a concubine. As much as she wants to stay nameless, the Emperor spots her on his walk back from a 100 woman orgy and falls madly in love. Her best friend in the Palace turns against her, her parents are put in danger, and her first child is murdered – then she decides to become a real bitch. With the help of a guy in the friend-zone, she eliminates all the other women in the show and makes her son the new Emperor. Chinese Green Tea Bitches identify and sympathize with the character:”All I want is a simple life… Why do I have to be so smart, kind and beautiful?!”
#2 Newly Weds
Young guy and young girl finally get married despite objections from both families. Then shit got real. Mother-in-law just loves to pick fights with the wife, and the wife’s family just stirs up shit. Somehow a rich and beautiful woman spring up, madly in love with the husband, and just has to give him money, offer him a job, and get him drunk enough to do the dirty. The marriages dies, but the wife gets knocked up right the divorce. Fuck. Every Newly Wed drama shows us the importance of family, and also using a condom.
#3 Supernatural Fantasy
Every Supernatural Fantasy drama is about an ordinary supernatural kid trying to hone their skill and become immortal. Sometimes the main character can be an animal but then immortalization has to happen before 1949 due to regulations. Every Supernatural Fantasy character has an obsessive-compulsive disorder. They are either obsessed with a long lost sword, a deeply buried secret, or a person from legend and they are so obsessed with it that they will eventually kill or get killed by their soulmate. Even if they are lucky enough to survive, they realize immortality is meaningless and commit suicide. But remember, when they die they die in cheap white silk dresses and with ridiculous special effects.
#4 Undercover Operative
“I don’t know how I became an undercover spy. I think my professor tricked me into it. Sometimes I even doubt if I believe in the Party. I mean, the job is pretty easy… they always give you a little orientation on the spy shit. Also I just happen to always have access to highly confidential documents! If I get caught, I’ll just blame on my coworkers and then secretly kill them. Despite I killed most of the coworkers my boss just never thought I was the spy. Who knows why maybe he’s just stupid! The one thing I hate about the job? I mean I’m not a fan of the fake wife the Party assigned me. But somehow I fell in love with her anyways. Will victory will be ours? I don’t know, because I’ll be dead or deported to Taiwan in the last episode!”
#5 Every Countryside Rom-Com
This shit is just awesome. The acting is so real, and the script is so well written. Not to mention the fashion trends they are leading – they last for years.