You may know that many 网红 (Internet celebrities) have received investments lately, and sooner or later they will start to sell shit or build an app. Good for them! Although I am still hella poor, I have a dream, too. Today I am presenting you 4 of my best startup ideas. Time to disrupt the world.
Instagram doesn’t grow into a billion dollar business for no reason – people love taking pictures. However, people are tired of the same old selfies, landscapes, and celebrity bullshit. The market is desperate for new stuff. Shitgram is like Instagram for shit. It’s a place without bullshit, but with human shit. Record your Shit of the Day with #SOTD, apply cool filters to give your shit a healthy color, and draw inspiration from the best shit artists! With the latest LBS feature, you can even find out the trending shitting locations nearby, who’s shitting around you, send a message, and start shitting together instantly! Two girls one cup? Only on Shitgram!
Are you sick of seeing the lives of others on your Moments? Are you scared of being ignored by your friends? Are you desperate to become the center of the world? Time to switch to MeChat! MeChat provides the best user experience for ME, which means, you are the one and only asshole. Whenever you post something, all your friends will have to Like it or leave a comment, otherwise their phone will explode. MeChat also integrates Natural Language Processing technology to make sure only good comments are allowed. People may call us attention whores, but only we know we’re queens.
There are many horrible things in the world, and fat-shaming is definitely one of them. People should have the freedom to choose their body size, and if they prefer to be fat, they deserve the support. Fatbit is a smart wristband which helps you gain weights effortlessly. It tracks your motion and sends you warnings whenever you’ve taken over 500 steps. Fatbit helps you eat more too, and it’s just like having your mom around you all the time – “Eat more rice la!” “Eat more meat la!” “You are not fat at all la!” You can also link it to your social apps and compete with your friends to light up your badges – “Sleep All Day”, “7 Burgers a Week”, and “Ultimate Fat Gainer”. Wanna surprise everybody in the summer? Join Fatbit today!
You may not have noticed, but Tinder has turned today’s dating scene into a hookup fueled apocalypse. It’s all about sex, not love. Luckily, there’s Ringer. Designed for helping people find true love, Ringer has a comprehensive system to evaluate if two people can get along. All you need is to fill in 2999 questions, including height, weight, income, zodiac sign, childhood trauma, sticker collection, and preferred sex position. Ringer will recommend you a perfect match, and you just need to swipe right to send an engagement ring! No more dating dramas, no more heartbreaks, Ringer is all about commitment. Join Ringer, get 15 fiancees in one day!
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