What Does A Guy’s Underwear Say About Him?

The best way to know a man is to examine his underwear, where he keeps his darkest secrets, dirtiest desires, and probably numerous germs. The moment he takes off his pants, it feels like opening Pandora’s box. But what about the box itself? Let’s take a look.

underwear-1

An essential piece of any straight guy’s wardrobe. Studies have shown a negative correlation between the tightness of the boxer and the age of the owner: the older you get, the looser it becomes. It sends out a straightforward message: “I don’t need a woman! I just want to chill on my sofa with no pants on, drink a beer and enjoy a Guo’an game!”

underwear-2

You know things are getting real when a man pulls on a pair of briefs. He feels confident, he wants to rule the world, and he may also be confused about his sexuality. A common myth is that you will instantly look hot in briefs. But in reality, if you don’t have a nice body, you will look like a preteen boy still in need of diapers.

underwear-3

A compromise between boxers and briefs, and a perfect choice for those who want to be naughty but are still shy about it. Usually seen when the man is trying to impress his partner on a special night, which starts with him stripping but ends with him getting his ass whipped while tied up in bed.

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You don’t even have to pull off your pants for your partner to know you’re gay, because your waistband is showing and it gives everything away.

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“Umm… Sometimes a man just doesn’t feel like going through all that work to pee, okay? It’s totally for efficiency! Don’t judge. You don’t know me!”

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“I just need to keep my testicles from bouncing against each other when I run. I am not dropping a subtle hint about the size of my penis. Although it is indeed huge in case you were curious.”

underwear-7

You just had an oil massage. Or you just had surgery. Or you thought it was a fart but accidentally pooped in your pants and that was the only thing you could find at 7-11.

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This is the face you make when you forget you are wearing a thong and accidentally pull your pants too high up.

 

butt2

 

underwear-9

What do you do for a living? Do you dance at Destination? Icon? Or maybe Shanghai Studio? Come on, at least one of them has to be right.

I admit I only know these few gay clubs.

underwear-10

Congratulations! You are Chinese!

 


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